Home Alone

In the still of the night, I hear the church bells chiming away in my heart. Joy to the birth of Jesus Christ on this Blessed Day where we rejoice! To my awesome family members, Wilson and friends! Blessed Christmas! No Santa Clause with huge present sack but my sincere thanks for being there for me in times of need.

I looked at my last blog entry and it was related to being stressed out in exams. Well, maybe stress to the highest level means even when I am dreaming, theories and notes came floating in my mind, haunting me in my dreams. Perhaps I should be thankful for it. *Perhaps* It was never smooth the moment I took this path. I knew the pros and cons and weighted the differences. I had wanted to test my own limits in a way and to see how far I can stretch my capabilities. It may sound silly but I am competitive in a different manner. I don't really wish and care about competing with others from my course but it's more of competing with myself. The sense of success felt at the end was able to satisfy my thirst for it.

I do have my doubts and all but now, I felt it's all worth it. I like what I am studying now and the interest is there. Many out there might be doing something that they are not interested in but had to follow the bait for the sake of survival. Contrary, here am I, pursuing my dreams. I am contended. Life can be simple. Process of studying is hard and the company of classmates does help me greatly. Without them, school was boring. I learnt a lot from my clique of friends. A LOT. It was of a different display of friendship but enticing conversation was nonetheless abundant.

I remembered,* it was not of a vague memory, the sigh of relief and the load on my shoulders fall off at the end of the last exam papers. Whatever learnt throughout the semester was being put to test in the exam hall and had been accounted for. Fruits of labour were proven in the insignificant exam results online. So much toil and sweat in order to get an A, B or C. It appears tougher than babies trying to piece the ABC puzzles. No Cs in my result slip and I am glad. I did better than what I expected. It was the best sweet surprise that happened recently.

Enough about school and papers, some may know that I undergone an operation days after my exams. It was meant to be a 3o minute surgery but it lasted 5 hours when they discovered something else on my cheek. Right now, I am suffering the effects of the surgery and had to be bound at home for speedy recovering. Staying in hospital wasn't as fun as what some lame TV serials show. Pain. It was acute pain and I had to be regularly injected with painkillers on my arm to stop it. Hourly intervals and worse still, I can't move much to show my disapproval of needles poking at me. In and out, semi-conscious state and barely able to talk. I wished I had telepathy power then. It must be hard on Wilson too to stay with me through the few days and juggle with his bsuy workload. Liquid food was the best staple source of energy for me. I recalled 5 surgeons standing in front of me, talking in a highly professional way and describing my condition. It didn't seem to register in my head. Words flowed in from one ear and of course, there was drainage. It was much later that I found out what the doctors said when I was much sane. Wilson was there with me the whole time. I must have freaked him out. He mentioned he would rather be the one suffering the pain on behalf of me. Alas, I would have endured the pain rather to ask you to bear it for me. Sounds that awoke me from my sleep include my mobile ringing tone. I had set it to ringing because I couldn't resist the lure of chipmunks singing Christmas Carols. Mum and Dad came after their work but all I could do is to try and smile in a silly manner. Friends came too. 2 of them and hence, plural form. XJ's voice is registered in my dreams and awoke to see her. How could I miss such a warming voice? Thanks for coming, the 2 of you. =)

Been at home for almost a month and I suppose although the doctors are trying their best to find the root of the problem. If I said I'm not worried, then it would be a lie. I just need a healthy me for the new semester. I wonder how it could be so in my current state. I had thought this year was the worse Christmas of all. Staying at home and rotting till flies come and gobble me up. Church was out due to the crowd and it was a big no no. Well, I did feel a little depressed being hogged at home for weeks. In the end, went out with Mr D. and Wilson to Geylang for a small bite. Supper. It wasn't that sort of big grand Christmas dinner with loads of friends and wishing each other Merry Christmas and drinking ourselves silly. It's just the three of us being ourselves and talking about everything under the sun. I like it as compared to watching the old Chinese movie shown on TV. Wilson must be tired being my chauffeur. Had missed meeting XJ though. Hope to see you soon!

The day after Christmas. S & S must have felt that my jaws need a good exercise. Maybe we broke time record. Conversation from 3:30 pm to 9:30 pm. I don't think we paused talking... Indeed, my jaws are dropping now. We had some hilarious reminiscence looking at videos and photos that we took years before. Incredibly humorous. Laughter's the best medicine and I totally agreed.

Right now, I am still typing while on voice webcam with Wilson. He is constantly worrying about me and my medical condition. My 3 meals a day and food that is deemed as suitable for consumption. This month could have drained him out for taking extra care of me. I am blessed to have someone for my life companion who is willing to give his all for me. Saying thanks is out of the question as words can't express how I feel.

Always a conclusion?

Presents or gifts from friends - Bonquet of flowers with a small bear. 2 Fortune Cats from HK. A Harrods Bag. 2 Eyores. 1 Turtle.

Christmas Dinner - Maybe less than $5o

An Existing Medical Condition - Worthless

Knowing the friends and family are there for you - Priceless

I'm not the type of mushy mellows person but hey ~ Thanks